Posts Tagged ‘funny kids


Versatile Armpits and Other Colloquialisms

While changing for bed one night.
Aubrey:   You got BIG armpits!
Me:   [confusedly point to my armpit] I have big armpits?
Aubrey:   No those. [points to my chest]


While at dinner with several family members including my sister-in-law’s little brother Jordan fresh out of Army training.
Aubrey:   You got big armpits.
I giggle thinking she’s telling Jordan he has big boobs that she can see thanks to his ‘stylish’ removal of his t-shirt sleeves.
Jordan:   What Aubrey?
Aubrey:   [points to Jordan’s bicep]
At this point she removes her jacket to show off her own ‘armpits’. When Jordan asks her to flex for him she nonchalantly raises her arm in the classic flexing pose and flips her hair with her hand.
Lord help us.


Following any suggestion Aubrey makes.
Aubrey:   That be idea?


Every weekend morning.
Aubrey:   [whispering] G’morning Mommy.
Me:   [groan and open one eye to see what time it is] G’morning Auby.
Aubrey:   Look! The light is out. [gesturing to the morning sun in the window] That’s why it’s morning time!!


Concerning almost anything new. Objects, places, experiences, etc.
Aubrey: I so eh-cited!!!


Aubrey:   Otay.


Concerning her hair in various circumstances.
Aubrey:   [combing her tangled hair with her fingers] I making my hair byooful Mom. It so byooful?

Grandma:   Come on Aubrey, let’s go take a bath.
Aubery:   But I jus tate a bath last night I did.
Grandma:   Well we take baths in the morning too. Besides your hair [gets cut off by Aubrey raising her hand in exasperation]
Aubrey:   I know. It’s so wyold.

Aubrey:   [while having her hair straightened one morning for school] My hair so warm and soft! But not dis side. It’s jus wyold. You maytit byooful Mom?


Arriving home from work.
Aubrey:   [following big hugs] You miss you durl?


Chocolate milk vs. Milk.
Aubrey:   I wan chotet milt. I no want milt in it. I jus wan chotet milt.
Me:   Aubrey, you have to have milk to make chocolate milk.
Aubrey:   Yeah but I no wan milt. Jus put chotet milt in my tup.

Daddy:   Aubrey, you want some chocolate milk?
Aubrey:   No! You mate milt. Mom mates chotet milt. [apparently the ratio of chocolate syrup to milk is critical]


Concerning death.
Aubrey:   [out of the blue to her day care provider] You mom die?
Lisa:   Yeah she did.
Aubrey:   [after a short moment of silence] It be otay. I getchu a new one.


Eeeeew durdy!

Every stinky diaper I change of Aubrey’s I have always said “Eeeew!” in an exaggerated way mostly in an effort to entertain her while I cleaned her up. I never gave it much thought but I now realize she has entered the age when I need to start watching each and every thing I say around her because she is a little parrot.

We are nearing the time when I am going to make a true effort at potty training so every time I head to the restroom I make a point of telling Aubrey, “Mommy has to go potty, do you want to come sit on your potty too?” She is usually very excited to join me in the restroom and sit on her little potty seat copying me. The other day she even pantomimed wiping even though her pants were still pulled up.

Last week she walked into the restroom, stood in front of me, pulled my jeans away from my knees, scrunched up her face and said, “Eeeeeeew.” I burst out laughing. Now she loves to point out everything she considers to be gross and melodramatically announce that it is “Ew.” This morning on the way to day care she dropped a piece of Pop Tart out of her mouth and it landed on her arm, to which she responded with an upgraded phrase of “Eeeew durdy. Durdy Momma.”

She is getting good at stringing words together too. She was enjoying a sucker she was given by a store clerk and declared, “Nummy Daddy! Nummy!” Of course I had to correct her that I was Mommy, to which after a short pause she laughed and rephrased her statement to, “Nummy Momma.”


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