While changing for bed one night.
Aubrey: You got BIG armpits!
Me: [confusedly point to my armpit] I have big armpits?
Aubrey: No those. [points to my chest]
While at dinner with several family members including my sister-in-law’s little brother Jordan fresh out of Army training.
Aubrey: You got big armpits.
I giggle thinking she’s telling Jordan he has big boobs that she can see thanks to his ‘stylish’ removal of his t-shirt sleeves.
Jordan: What Aubrey?
Aubrey: [points to Jordan’s bicep]
At this point she removes her jacket to show off her own ‘armpits’. When Jordan asks her to flex for him she nonchalantly raises her arm in the classic flexing pose and flips her hair with her hand.
Lord help us.
Following any suggestion Aubrey makes.
Aubrey: That be idea?
Every weekend morning.
Aubrey: [whispering] G’morning Mommy.
Me: [groan and open one eye to see what time it is] G’morning Auby.
Aubrey: Look! The light is out. [gesturing to the morning sun in the window] That’s why it’s morning time!!
Concerning almost anything new. Objects, places, experiences, etc.
Aubrey: I so eh-cited!!!
Concerning her hair in various circumstances.
Aubrey: [combing her tangled hair with her fingers] I making my hair byooful Mom. It so byooful?
Grandma: Come on Aubrey, let’s go take a bath.
Aubery: But I jus tate a bath last night I did.
Grandma: Well we take baths in the morning too. Besides your hair [gets cut off by Aubrey raising her hand in exasperation]
Aubrey: I know. It’s so wyold.
Aubrey: [while having her hair straightened one morning for school] My hair so warm and soft! But not dis side. It’s jus wyold. You maytit byooful Mom?
Arriving home from work.
Aubrey: [following big hugs] You miss you durl?
Chocolate milk vs. Milk.
Aubrey: I wan chotet milt. I no want milt in it. I jus wan chotet milt.
Me: Aubrey, you have to have milk to make chocolate milk.
Aubrey: Yeah but I no wan milt. Jus put chotet milt in my tup.
Daddy: Aubrey, you want some chocolate milk?
Aubrey: No! You mate milt. Mom mates chotet milt. [apparently the ratio of chocolate syrup to milk is critical]
Aubrey: [out of the blue to her day care provider] You mom die?
Lisa: Yeah she did.
Aubrey: [after a short moment of silence] It be otay. I getchu a new one.